Date Night

I always look forward to getting out with Aaron for a date. We mostly do movies. I like going out to a movie, but tonight's choice really turned me off. Transformers. It was rude, loud, violent, and sexual. Why oh why does this not turn my husband off too? I did not like it one bit. He really liked it. So frustrating. If I talk with him about it, he'll get all defensive and think I'm judging him. I just want him to realize who he is as the leader of our home and a Priesthood leader none the less. We have made promises to each other, that granted, we've both broken. How can I help him to take the lead? How can I help him to be more sensitive to things like we saw tonight? How can I help him to realize how uncomfortable this makes his wife feel without him thinking I'm judging him? I want so badly for us to both be better and do better for each other and for our family. Maybe my expectations are just too high.

Storms

We have been having unusual storms in Utah lately. I'm not complaining though because I really love rain and thunder storms. I love the way the air smells after a good rain storm.

I've been running again. Feels good to be getting up early and excercising. I so need it. I don't know why I fight doing it sometimes.

Aaron and I are getting ready to go on a Vacation to New York next week. I'm excited. And nervous. We will be gone for a week and I so hope that the kids will have a good time with Vicki. I know she is super excited to come out to watch them, and they are pretty darn excited too. I worry. Pointless I know, but still I worry that she doesn't know them very well and they don't know her very well either. How will she handle when Nathan decides to wig out or when he gets frustrated or when he poops in his underwear? Will she be okay with Hannah's constant need for attention? or will she be able to understand what Abigail is saying?

On the flip side. Will I come home and have to tell the kids that we don't say certain words that they may have heard her say? Do I have to worry that she will let them taste her coffee? Will she pray with my kids? Will she respect what we believe? Oh I hope so. I really want to continue building a good relationship with Vicki. I don't trust her completely and she doesn't trust us completely either, but I believe we can have a great relationship and that we can eventually trust each other the way we want.

I need this trip with Aaron. We aren't 'technically' going alone. Susan is coming with us. Part of me wishes it were just the two of us. We could use the alone time. He is working round the clock these days. It's what he loves though and I'm starting to come to grips with it. Sometimes our goals are very very different. His drive for financial success is so so so superior to mine. My drive for a a tight, loving, family seems to be superior to his. It makes for some hard feelings sometimes. I'm trying to focus on the good that we have. I'm trying not to be a nagging wife or an angry wife. Seems that when I'm that way, it only drives him further away from us. Boy is it hard for me though.

So, as I'm writing this I think to myself of all that I should be doing to prepare for next week. Lots still to do.